Ten million alcoholics are in this country (U.S.A.). These people whom are victims to their own self, also (victimize) adversely affect others with whom they associate.
Employers, relatives, friends and families of alcoholics suffer from the effects of alcoholism.Many man-hours of work are lost because of absenteeism and inefficiency due to alcoholism.Those who are the closest suffer most of all. The family becomes emotionally ill themselves.
Children of alcoholics seem to have in common a low self-esteem. This is not surprising. Conditions which lead an individual to value himself and to regard himself as a person of worth can be briefly summarized by terms of “parental warmth,” “clearly defined limits,” and “respectful
treatment.” There is considerable literature in which it is argued that these conditions are absent or inconsistently present in the alcoholic home.
The alcoholic parent’s behavior is affected by the chemicals within, non-alcoholic parent’s behavior is affected by reaction to the alcoholic.
Little emotional energy remains to consistently fulfill the many needs of children who become victims to the family illness. Parents are models whether they want to be or not. It is in the give-and-take of relationships with parents and others that the child finds a sense of security,
and self-esteem. A Study with adolescent boys indicates that children develop self-trust, and the ability to deal with adversity if they are treated with respect, well-defined standards of values. Persons with high self-esteem are outgoing, socially successful, and expect to be
well received. On the other hand, pupils with low self-esteem are easily discouraged and sometimes depressed. They feel isolated, unloved and unlovable. The author’s own research into “Self-Esteem in Children of Alcoholics” showed that children of alcoholic parents have
lower self-esteem.
In our e-articles, publications, and our bi-annual conventions, we will cover topics relating Inadequate parenting, crime, alcohol, and drug abuse, single parent homes, dysfunctional family.
Coping with divorce, conflicts at home, dislocation from one city, state, province to another.
Immigration and Assimilation: Multiculturalism. Maintaining ones cultural and religious identity, in a very mobile, migrant world without borders.
Child slavery.
Pressure to conform to peers and society, not to self-actualize.
Get a high paying job, rather than finding and living your vocation.
Having to work, study, and pay ones tuition.
Socialization and personality.
How to optimally educate a person.
How to effectively handle constant change.
Increasing self-esteem, and self-efficiacy (competence) in the world.
Adult Children of Alcoholics:
a) Guess at what normal behavior is.
b) Have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.
c) Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
d) Judge themselves without mercy.
e) Have difficulty having fun.
f) Take themselves very seriously.
g) Have difficulty with intimate relationships.
h) Overreact to changes over which they have no control.
i) Constantly seek approval and affirmation.
j) Usually feel that they are different from other people.
k) Are super responsible or super irresponsible.
l) Are extremely loyal, even in the face of evidence that the loyalty is undeserved.
m) Are impulsive. They tend to lock them selves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative be haviors or possible consequences.
In future publications we will consider these in much more depth, and provide you with self-esteem and self-efficiency enhancement techniques to nurture the “magic” that is in each child and youth.
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